CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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