in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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