he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
