Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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