but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
