Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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