this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
