i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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