A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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