He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
