Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
