i dont even know how to be here
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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