I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
