My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize