So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
