I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
