Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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