The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
