just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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