my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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