I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
