And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
