I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
