Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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