my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
