question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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