I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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