Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
