I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
