i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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