need another drink. this is the easiest way
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
