I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
