Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I believe in your delicious
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize