He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
