Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
