she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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