office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
