Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
