i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
