I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
