Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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