He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
