His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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