she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
