I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
