I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
