Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize