Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
whose parrot is this?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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