Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How does it feel to date your dad?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
