There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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