im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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