I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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