Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
