Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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