he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
