Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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