The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
