margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
